January 13, 2008
No Man Is An Island
If I were a bazillionaire, I would probably spend less time browsing through privateislandsonline.com and a lot more time just buying one and moving there already.
I think I would especially enjoy The Moss Cays. According to the advertisement, the Cays are near Georgetown on Great Exuma Island of the Bahamas.
(I don't know what that means, but it surely sounds sophisticated.)
Apparently, this area is popular for "yacht enthusiasts."
Question: You kind of have to be rich to be a "yacht enthusiast," right? Or at least, to be a "yacht enthusiast" that chills at a yacht-hot-spot in the Bahamas?
I think you might have to be a lot more than just enthusiastic about yachts to chill with them. Maybe I'm wrong. I'd have to invite them over for veggie burgers and chips and salsa to be sure. If they don't high-five me back, there will be be trouble.
Needless to say, I've never been on a yacht, so I wouldn't crash any of their parties right away.
In fact, before I get to crash any parties or do anything at all, I'll need to acquire at least 3 million dollars. Probably not all at once but even 10% of that is more than I've ever made in my life.
I'm guessing my '91 Honda Station Wagon won't do for collateral even though it does have a standard transmission.
I would then need to figure out how to live there. Though, judging by the photos, the "rustic home" on the middle island that boasts "glamorous camping" can't be all that bad.
I would only really need some electricity (solar - if I get to be rich anyway, why not), water (recycled rain water?) and perhaps some sort of responsible, eco-friendly human waste disposal system is in order? What the hell, I'll treat myself.
I would also kind of like Internet capabilities. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about exploring my little islands, making gardens and discovering a new kind of ant or worm that I can name after myself, but I think an email alert with the subject "A hurricane is coming, never mind, it's here!" or "Those pesky pirates are up to their pillaging again!" would be helpful.
I would need a boat and I would need to know how to make that boat do what I want it to.
Maybe I would need some kind of security? I'm not sure what the protocol is among Caribbean Island Owners, but if I were to miss the email alert about the pirates because I was, say, domesticating a bull shark due to loneliness, I'd be screwed.
And unless Mr. Depp and Mr. Bloom were the pesky pirates, that would be a bad thing.
(Worst innuendo by me, ever. Sorry.)
Okay, so none of this will ever happen - especially the recycled rainwater bit (I'm a dreamer, I know), but the more I do my humble "research," the more I realize that this is all totally possible.
Grand Exuma Island has an international airport, Georgetown is so unbelievably chill that they've hardly given many of their streets names because it's just that easy. The Moss Cays are, of course, actually for sale and I know more and more people can actually afford them. Still not me, though.
So why don't more people buy islands?
Dolphin Bay Island in Panama (!), for example, costs less than half or a third of what many people spend on homes here in Richmond.
How amazing would it be to start from scratch and build your own little world? You could play "Little House on the Prairie" and be a pioneer! Build a well! Make your own clothes!! Wear a bonnet!!!!
Seriously, Laura never had it so good.
You could play "Lord of the Flies" and scare all your friends!
You could play "Lost" and spend your entire island life in fear of "The Others," or you could get stuck in a perpetual state of flashbacks and forwards and, just flashing all over the place!!!!
I just might buy Dolphin Bay Island, it's more in my price range than the boring old Moss Cays. Plus, it has pineapple plants! Score!!
But the Panamanian Government is going to have to let me change the name. "Dolphin Bay Island" sounds entirely too corny. I wonder if "Gilligan's" is taken?
I think I would especially enjoy The Moss Cays. According to the advertisement, the Cays are near Georgetown on Great Exuma Island of the Bahamas.
(I don't know what that means, but it surely sounds sophisticated.)
Apparently, this area is popular for "yacht enthusiasts."
Question: You kind of have to be rich to be a "yacht enthusiast," right? Or at least, to be a "yacht enthusiast" that chills at a yacht-hot-spot in the Bahamas?
I think you might have to be a lot more than just enthusiastic about yachts to chill with them. Maybe I'm wrong. I'd have to invite them over for veggie burgers and chips and salsa to be sure. If they don't high-five me back, there will be be trouble.
Needless to say, I've never been on a yacht, so I wouldn't crash any of their parties right away.
In fact, before I get to crash any parties or do anything at all, I'll need to acquire at least 3 million dollars. Probably not all at once but even 10% of that is more than I've ever made in my life.
I'm guessing my '91 Honda Station Wagon won't do for collateral even though it does have a standard transmission.
I would then need to figure out how to live there. Though, judging by the photos, the "rustic home" on the middle island that boasts "glamorous camping" can't be all that bad.
I would only really need some electricity (solar - if I get to be rich anyway, why not), water (recycled rain water?) and perhaps some sort of responsible, eco-friendly human waste disposal system is in order? What the hell, I'll treat myself.
I would also kind of like Internet capabilities. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about exploring my little islands, making gardens and discovering a new kind of ant or worm that I can name after myself, but I think an email alert with the subject "A hurricane is coming, never mind, it's here!" or "Those pesky pirates are up to their pillaging again!" would be helpful.
I would need a boat and I would need to know how to make that boat do what I want it to.
Maybe I would need some kind of security? I'm not sure what the protocol is among Caribbean Island Owners, but if I were to miss the email alert about the pirates because I was, say, domesticating a bull shark due to loneliness, I'd be screwed.
And unless Mr. Depp and Mr. Bloom were the pesky pirates, that would be a bad thing.
(Worst innuendo by me, ever. Sorry.)
Okay, so none of this will ever happen - especially the recycled rainwater bit (I'm a dreamer, I know), but the more I do my humble "research," the more I realize that this is all totally possible.
Grand Exuma Island has an international airport, Georgetown is so unbelievably chill that they've hardly given many of their streets names because it's just that easy. The Moss Cays are, of course, actually for sale and I know more and more people can actually afford them. Still not me, though.
So why don't more people buy islands?
Dolphin Bay Island in Panama (!), for example, costs less than half or a third of what many people spend on homes here in Richmond.
How amazing would it be to start from scratch and build your own little world? You could play "Little House on the Prairie" and be a pioneer! Build a well! Make your own clothes!! Wear a bonnet!!!!
Seriously, Laura never had it so good.
You could play "Lord of the Flies" and scare all your friends!
You could play "Lost" and spend your entire island life in fear of "The Others," or you could get stuck in a perpetual state of flashbacks and forwards and, just flashing all over the place!!!!
I just might buy Dolphin Bay Island, it's more in my price range than the boring old Moss Cays. Plus, it has pineapple plants! Score!!
But the Panamanian Government is going to have to let me change the name. "Dolphin Bay Island" sounds entirely too corny. I wonder if "Gilligan's" is taken?
Labels: "yeah right", islands, stories
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